I've just had to quickly find a gift for a mates wedding so I stuck to the tried and tested tableware approach. I went for some nice crockery and a set of wine glasses.
My mate and his new bride seemed happy enough. Initially I'd thought that the set of wine glasses would be OK, but then my girlfriend said it looked a bit tight so I took advantage of a special offer at John Jenkins Direct and bought a nice 20 piece breakfast set for nearly half price.
Gifts like these are a long way from the ridiculous presents that my mate and I have exchanged in the past. These have included a half eaten kebab (wrapped, addressed and posted), a bag of barbecue charcoal (for a christmas gift), an indeterminate item of roadkill, a used condom, a selection of womes underwear stolen from neighbours washing lines and various engine components removed from his car.
I don't think his new bride would have appreciated a rotting dead badger as a wedding gift.
Wednesday 17 September 2008
Monday 15 September 2008
Lust in a Lift at Heathrow Airport Hotel
A gentleman staying at a popular, well known Heathrow Airport Hotel was surprised when a fellow hotel guest kissed him passionately in the lift.
The chap concerned was returning to his room on one of the upper hotel floors. He entered the lift with a well dressed, attractive woman, probably in her mid to late thirties. She immediately started chatting, talking about how strange it is for people to stand in a lift and not talk.
Within moments she was confiding that lifts made her feel amorous then she dropped her brief case, turned to the chap in the lift and gave him a long, passionate kiss on the lips.
The lift stopped at her floor first at which point she released her fellow lift passenger, straightened her clothes, picked up her brief case and left. The poor chap who'd been subjected to this unsolicited assault was left wondering if it had really happened.
Not wanting to cause a fuss he didn't report the incident to the hotel management. Instead he kept it to himself until he returned to his place of work where he shared his experience with his workmates, and me.
The chap concerned was returning to his room on one of the upper hotel floors. He entered the lift with a well dressed, attractive woman, probably in her mid to late thirties. She immediately started chatting, talking about how strange it is for people to stand in a lift and not talk.
Within moments she was confiding that lifts made her feel amorous then she dropped her brief case, turned to the chap in the lift and gave him a long, passionate kiss on the lips.
The lift stopped at her floor first at which point she released her fellow lift passenger, straightened her clothes, picked up her brief case and left. The poor chap who'd been subjected to this unsolicited assault was left wondering if it had really happened.
Not wanting to cause a fuss he didn't report the incident to the hotel management. Instead he kept it to himself until he returned to his place of work where he shared his experience with his workmates, and me.
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